Change is constant, new technologies shape how we work, new skills are required, economic savings asked for, improvements required, faster delivery is expected. Work harder, work faster whilst wading through rules, politics and bureaucracy.
Often we feel may out of control, manipulated, taken for granted, bullied, isolated, unfulfilled, overwhelmed by workloads as well as many other factors.
How we are in the workplace is often a reflection of our personal life and situation. The workplace is one big seething human organism with the myriad of dynamics that push and pull us.
Put in some Boundaries
Often we will start our work from a position of examining your boundaries for yourself and others. For yourself it’s about knowing and setting your own limits, when to say no, when to stop, when to take a break, when to ask for help of other.
Setting boundaries for others is about knowing our limits and maintaining them. When those thresholds are crossed, then it’s about stating your boundaries in an affirmative and assertive way.
Assert your knowing self
Being assertive isn’t about being angry, threatening and shouting. It is about stating your case, informing the other person about what you are prepared to do and what you are not.
This can be challenging at first when you are used to ‘pleasing others’, or when concerned it will result in confrontation or rejection. How you feel about yourself can be explored, understood and changed.
Assertion is about knowing yourself in the workplace and elsewhere, and informing others of what you want and stating that in an I’m OK you’re OK manner. We can assert ourselves better when we have a clear sense of identity and purpose.
Beating the Bully
Harassment in the workplace can be very subtle and portrayed as if you are the imaging it. Sometime it is blatant and public so that scapegoating and bullying behaviours are encouraged in others.
These behaviours are not acceptable nor should they be tolerated. This requires active support and help. If there is an HR department then often this can be reported and addressed. Naming what is going on is often enough to stop or reduce the issue.
It is important to address as this can lead to significant mental health issues as well as affecting physical health and ability to perform in and out of work. Changing how you feel about yourself can also change how people feel about you.
The Great Imposter
Sometimes you can feel like a fraud in the workplace waiting to get found out. This is a recognised state known as ‘Imposter Syndrome’, where you anticipate someone will realise you are not good enough at your job and shouldn’t be there.
When you are praised this can evoke a feeling they have temporarily misjudged your inadequacy. That the next piece of work will be substandard and then it will come to light you don’t know what you are doing.
This can reflect how see your own self-worth and importance compared to others. That under stress you can see yourself as not OK whilst others are OK,
We will focus on improving your self-worth by identifying and acknowledging your skills and abilities. Recognising you don’t have to be perfect, that good enough is good enough.
Playing the Psychological Game
It can appear that similar issues keep occurring in and there is something you can’t quiet put your finger on. These are most likely to be psychological games that repeat time after time leaving you feeling somewhat confused and uncomfortable.
Often these ‘games’ are played out where two or more people take opposing roles such as the Critical Parent or Adaptive Child. The interaction then flares up and plays out until the bad feeling is experienced yet again.
On a psychological level individuals are using childhood strategies out of consciousness to resolve issues. You can learn to recognise the associated feeling and move instead to the here and now Adult using appropriate skills and abilities.
Learn, Change, Grow, Live
The good news is that you can learn about yourself and the situation. Own it, make it yours and then you can change bringing choice and options. You are then free to decide your new direction.
Sometimes it is necessary to embrace change and to leave a place of work. It may also require changing career. This can feeling daunting and immensely risky, but you can do this and find yourself in a much better workplace.
Visit the website of Life, Coach, Michael D. Pollock who shares ideas about how to overcome self-defeating behaviours to see powerful and thought provoking quotes about ‘work you love’.