Online Couples Counselling

Online Couples Counselling and Therapy

This takes place over Zoom typically weekly at the same time. A distinct advantage of online couples counselling is that each partner can still take part even if in different physical locations.

One of the most significant questions is how effective is online counselling for couples compared to face-to-face therapy.

There are several parts to the answer. Firstly, in my experience the vast majority of couples quickly become comfortable working this way feeling involved and connected. The therapeutic alliance is soon established as effectively as being face to face.

Another consideration is are outcomes achieved comparable to face to face work. Again I would answer yes on the basis that it something that is determined inside and outside of therapy arrived at through individual and joint decisions.

Some people will have a personal preference for face-to-face counselling. It is important that anyone undertaking therapy determines what is best for their circumstances, working the way they want to.

First Contact

Usually it will be an email from one person in the relationship rather than both who reach out to me making the initial enquiry about online couples counselling. I do also receive phone calls enquiring about counselling. I will then ask them to text me their email address so I can send more information.

When someone contacts me it is usually because one or both partners are in a position of distress or uncertainty. Therefore my intention is to respond as soon as possible to the initial enquiry.

My response also includes a request for name and address of the other person in the relationship. This enables me to send out the same information to both people so that all comms are open and available to both prospective clients.

Initial Review

Before starting online couples counselling I hold an initial review with both people.  Prior to making and confirming the arrangements I send out a brief intake form. This is for basic identification purposes such as name, address, GP and contact details.

Without this information if a perspective client advised they were at the risk of significant harm and the call ended, I would have no way of reaching back out to them. Having received the client details I then send out the meeting invitation over email.

The initial review lasts around 30 minutes. It gives me the opportunity to introduce myself, describe my training background and how I work with couples.

Couples can also ask any questions that you may have about me, the process or how I work with couples.

Starting Relationship Counselling

When a couple advises they want to work with me I then send out a relationship questionnaire and a copy of my working agreement. The questionnaire gives me insights in to what

Holding an Initial Individual session with each person before starting the couples work is recommended. This enables each person describe in detail what they have been experiencing in their relationship and give insights into the causes and possible ways of resolving.

When each person has participated in an individual session then the first couples session is scheduled.

An exploration of each persons thoughts and feelings are undertaken. Common points of view and differences can then be stated and the impacts of those and their meaning considered.

Ongoing Couples Work

Sometime one person wants their partner to make all the changes. This is not sustainable. Relationships are co-created be two people.

Therefore change is required to be undertaken by both partners although it often requires one person to make the first move that is based on unconditional outcomes. To make conditional changes i.e. ‘I will stop/start doing something only if you start/stop doing’ usually keep the original destructive relationship cycle going.

Each person needs to be able to hold up a mirror to themselves and each other.

Couples Counselling Outcomes

Outcomes can’t be guaranteed, however online couples counselling can help the individuals within the relationship to grow and develop. Healthier patterns and interactions can be recognised and replaced with more beneficial ones.

Improved relationships with a partner often has beneficial impacts on other relationships. This is often experienced with other family members, friends, work colleagues as well as an improved sense of wellbeing.

In the event the relationship comes to an end counselling can help a couples better prepare and cope with the ending. Additionally it can provide the insight into the reasons why the relationship may have floundered so avoiding repeating the same patterns in the future.

Check out other my other counselling and coaching articles and blogs on this website